Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The OChem Grade Reporter

My latest annoyance comes from a certain person who decided I always wanted to hear about how he was tearing up Ochem. For some reason, he believed that others (like myself) wanted to hear about his 93 on the latest test (usually about 20 points higher than the score of yours truly). The conversation usually goes in this fashion:

(this conversation happens before the tests are returned)

OChem Dude: "Hey man, how did you do on that last test?"

Me: "Um... I dunno, I think I got WORKED, as I usually do. I don't feel good about it."

OChem Dude: "Yeah. I can't actually think of one question I probably missed."

Me: (Acting pleased for him) "Really? Wow, that's great."

OChem Dude: "I know, it is. It is really great. But we'll see. I'm hoping for a 98 or so, but I usually get nickeled and dimed to death, so I'm betting I only pull out a 92 or 93."

Me: "Wow, I hope that doesn't happen for your sake. That would be TERRIBLE."

Now let's examine what happens after the tests are returned.

OChem Dude: "So... how did you do on that test?"

Me: "Um (trying to avoid talking about it), I did ok. Not the best."

OChem Dude: "Well that's funny, because I think perhaps I did THE best. In fact, I have a hard time believing anyone got a score higher than mine. That would make my score the highest. I mean, after all, a 96 is pretty good, right?"

Me: (As if I need to or WANT to verify this) "Oh yeah. No one got higher than you. Mind if I call you Ace?"

OChem Dude: "You can call me that if you want. I mean, it's not a 100, but I think Ace is a pretty accurate nickname. I'm so mad about the question I missed!"

And on and on and on. At least OChem is over, so those days are over. I dream about one day getting a 98 or so on an Ochem test. If that ever happens, he will be the first person I call.


  1. My biggest question is why he picked you of all people to tell. Sympathetic facial expressions? Caring demeanor?

  2. OChem Dude is a secret reader of this blog, and does it just to annoy Dan.