Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Top 10 Signs of a Sucky Party

These are tell-tale signs. Make sure your party avoids these disastrous potholes.

10 - The ratio of guys:girls is blatantly unbalanced.
9 - Food is nonexistent, or in scarce amounts.
8 - Most of your guests walk in and realize, sadly, that they don't know anybody. The rest of the party, then, will feature plenty of awkward staring and silence.
7 - The party starts before 8.
6 - You model your party after the "PDP," or Provo Dance Party, featuring music that is WAY too loud, sucky, and you decide to turn the lights off, further alienating any chance for people to meet other people at your party (which, after all, is the reason most parties are attended).
5 - That night, there is an ENORMOUS Jazz game or other sporting event, and you fail to show it on your TV in some room.
4 - You decide to invite every single person you know on Facebook, and they all come.
3 - Your parents come.
2 - You choose to have no music or movie playing, hoping instead that the sounds of conversational pleasantries will fill the air.
1 - You never have parties. Because you are lame.

There you have it. Feel free to add your own items. Hopefully, we can eradicate, through a concentrated effort, sucky parties.

Why? Because no one should have to ask, as they walk to a party, whether or not it will be a waste of time, an awkward experience, or unfulfilling in any other manner. No one should have to live their life in fear.

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