The Top 10 Signs of a Sucky Party

These are tell-tale signs. Make sure your party avoids these disastrous potholes.

10 - The ratio of guys:girls is blatantly unbalanced.
9 - Food is nonexistent, or in scarce amounts.
8 - Most of your guests walk in and realize, sadly, that they don't know anybody. The rest of the party, then, will feature plenty of awkward staring and silence.
7 - The party starts before 8.
6 - You model your party after the "PDP," or Provo Dance Party, featuring music that is WAY too loud, sucky, and you decide to turn the lights off, further alienating any chance for people to meet other people at your party (which, after all, is the reason most parties are attended).
5 - That night, there is an ENORMOUS Jazz game or other sporting event, and you fail to show it on your TV in some room.
4 - You decide to invite every single person you know on Facebook, and they all come.
3 - Your parents come.
2 - You choose to have no music or movie playing, hoping instead that the sounds of conversational pleasantries will fill the air.
1 - You never have parties. Because you are lame.

There you have it. Feel free to add your own items. Hopefully, we can eradicate, through a concentrated effort, sucky parties.

Why? Because no one should have to ask, as they walk to a party, whether or not it will be a waste of time, an awkward experience, or unfulfilling in any other manner. No one should have to live their life in fear.

Lessons Learned from The Alchemist

I recently finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and I was pleased by the quick, light read it was, while still being able to glean some life lessons from the book.

The Alchemist is a story about a young shepherd living in Andalusia (old Spain) when he meets King Melchizedek, who tells him about a treasure awaiting the young shepherd by the Pyramids in Egypt. The shepherd leaves his flocks (and the comforts of his lifestyle) and heads to a foreign land with a foreign language and crosses the Sahara Desert in order to reach his treasure. Along the way, he meets an abundance of hardships, trials, and other challenges, but he also meets the Alchemist, who teaches him certain life lessons that allow him to succeed in his quest.

The plot of the book is really just a gateway for the author to present his ideas, in mostly proverbial form. Coelho, it turns out, had similar life experiences, where he abandoned his normal life goals in pursuit of his lifelong dream, to become a writer. I was fascinated by the primary purpose of the book - that when we undertake to fulfill our dreams and aspirations, the entire universe conspires to help us achieve it. Things really seem to fall into place when we actually work towards something. However, this obviously requires no small effort on our part.

The other purpose of the book seems to all revolve around self-betterment. "Fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand." I like this idea. We are not anomalies. No man is an island unto himself, but instead, we can learn from those around us (including those preceding us) and become better in the process by removing our fears about life.

The Alchemist says at one point in the book, "That's what Alchemists do. They show that,
when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too." John Donne would agree with this.

Finally, near the end of the book, we learn this: "No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it." If you struggle with self-worth, this may seem to help. I think insignificance is a problem we all face, and we all yearn for some feeling of importance.

Anyways, in a nutshell, I would recommend this book to anyone, especially to those who enjoyed the similar book The Little Prince. Plus it's a quick read, so that's a bonus.

New Years Resolutions (And So Can You!)

Christmas! December! The great month of contemplation, inspiration, and good spirits. Positivism roots out any sort of "I can't do it" attitude, and the spirit of the month kicks the idea that you will perpetuate bad habits into January right in the toosh. (This picture is intended to give you an idea of how I approach the month of December, with courage in my heart and a contemplative attitude of becoming a better person going forward - Are you inspired yet?)

Ah, but then comes the dreaded months of January, February, March... and everything goes out the window. What of your goals? Your hopes? Your bad habits? If you are like me at all, this Decembrist Attitude lasts the same amount of time as a hot date - not nearly long enough. Eventually, I grind out the year, and I find myself back in December. The cycle repeats itself.

Well, I'm sick of it. I have a new plan. I feel that the biggest problem I face is that I don't maximize my productivity. I find too many hours in the day unplanned, disorganized, and full of opportunities for idleness. But is the answer working harder? I recently finished a book where the author claimed that our parent's generation spends 100 hours more per year than the generation before them at work. The world demands productivity, and the people of the world use MORE as the way to satisfy the demands of the world.

I, however, have a better idea. I think there are ways in which you can maximize productivity without necessarily putting more time on your punch card. Here are 5 suggestions, and explanations behind each one (due to the fact that you may feel like these are things you would have to cut out to achieve your new years resolutions):

1. Spend more time in bed and in the kitchen while obeying D&C 88 and 89.

Time is more effective when you are healthy and rested. The green drink has been my remedy for my annual sickness, and there is serious decline in productivity whenever you are tired and sick. Or sick and tired...

2. Find time to exercise.

This is another classic good idea that goes out the window when you become too busy. Exercise leads to being healthier, but it also creates a sense of self-confidence that you can't get any other way. Self-confidence clearly will result in greater productivity.

3. Get yourself a Planner and a Notebook.

I am giving up my lifelong vendetta against planners. I realize the only way to actually eliminate idle hours is by planning all of them out. Planners also allow for the occasional entertainment escape, like a Jazz game or a movie. As for notebooks, I have found that when I have good ideas, I usually forget them, but with a notebook around, those ideas get WRITTEN down. Crucial. I love being able to write in a notebook at any possible moment.

4. Turn off the TV and keep yourself out of idle zones.

The classic college blunder? Spending too much time in your apartment, around a small (or increasingly large) black box that can suck your life away. Sportscenter seems harmless, right? Wrong.

5. Goals, goals, goals.

Write them down, set them both long-term and short-term, and plan them out via planner. Write them somewhere you can see them every day. Hold yourself accountable through prayer, discussion of your goals with friends and family, and other self-inflicted punishments or rewards if you reach or fail to reach them.

There you have it. I would also add that you MUST find time for God every day, another "drain" on your time, it may seem, but clearly finding time for the Lord will result in blessings.